the entire school was burning down and i had to pull the fire alarm. i sprinted over to it. there was writing on it in permanent ink. it said: if you pull this down you are gay. no way was i pulling the fire alarm anymore
This girl in my class forgot what a chocolate chip cookie was
welcome to the punk rock hospital, we dont use anesthesia and our scalpels are rusty because it makes it more hardcore. none of us are liscensed doctors
- jennifer lawrence: food
- tumblr: OMG XD SHE SAID FOOD!!! I EAT FOOD TOO!!!! SHES PRACTICALLY TUMBLER XDDDDD!!!!
bitch, swerve! haha, found that one on tumblr. i love today’s humour. anyway, i graded your essays and you all failed
The number of inches you leave my door open is the number of inches the depth of my knife will be in your chest
“isn’t that a little gay” my friend asks
“yes” i respond as i look at the miniature homosexual sitting on my desk “it is”
i hate it when people call me funny because I feel like I have to say something really funny again and I just can’t handle that pressure
Just a reminder that you were not put on earth for the sole purpose of having a thigh gap and a flat stomach.